Thursday, October 3, 2013

Waiting For the "Yes."

Then Peter began to speak up, "We have given up all to follow you," he said. "Yes," Jesus replied... ~ Mark 10

Invisible rays from the afternoon sun pour down on the white fence that links from post-to-post across the pasture, and the boards glow. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows that surround me, I can see tiny, neon colored lizards scamper across the deck and railings. Across the pasture of freshly mown hay, bluebirds flit in and out of the dark holes in the beige gourds--homes originally designed for swallows. Fall is coming, and leaves are ever so slightly turning. Fly Catchers acrobatically whiz by doing what they do--catch flies. Butterflies float by in gentle, happy, but haphazard patterns of flight. Acorns plunking off the roof and the shhhhhh of the air conditioner are the only sounds.

It could be just the melancholy that is never far away in me, but as I sit here in the quietness of our home, reading and writing, I can't seem to get away from Peter's words to Jesus, "We have given up all to follow you." I'm thinking that Peter spoke his mind more as a question than as a declarative statement. I try to imagine how Peter and his comrades felt when Jesus, whom they so deeply loved and respected, responded, "Yes, you have." I also know that time and testing proved they had yet to give up everything. There was a lot about them that wouldn't work if they were to pick up the mantle and continue what Jesus started. I know that Jesus confirmed them where they were in the journey. He knew that as far as they could perceive and understand, they had given up everything to follow him.

It causes me to think about my own spiritual journey. I know there have been times when, like Peter and the other eleven, I believed I had given up, or let go of, everything to follow Jesus. I know that I love him. I also know that time and testing proved there was much I still clung to more dearly than Jesus. I know that yesterday's heart is not always today's heart, so I pray Peter's prayer, "We have given up everything to follow you." Mine, too, is more of a question than a declarative cry.

I wait to hear from Jesus, "Yes, you have."

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