Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Superbowl -- Richard?

Tomorrow will bring us the duel in the desert. The gunslingers have been back-to-back, and now it is time to take the ten paces, turn, and fire. When the smoke clears, the NY Giants will be writhing on the ground. Tom Brady and his posse will wing their way back to New England -- Lombardi Trophy in hand.

Yes, yes, there will be the pathetic excuses that Belichick, oft referred to as Belicheat, cheated. What’s that? O, you didn't know about Spygate? Well let me tell you! Bill Belichick videotaped the opponent’s defensive signals. Something unheard of in the NFL and sports in general (wink, wink). Yessiree! In the first half of the first game of the season the infamous camera was confiscated -- they had the smoking gun. Yesterday Senator Arlen Spector wanted those tapes subpoenaed! Unfortunately the NFL Commish already destroyed them. Nixonian indeed.

Belichick’s Spygate is right up there with the dirty little secret of stealing signs in baseball. Did you know they did that? In case no one has ever told you, that’s why the base coaches go through all those quirky gyrations -- they are disguising their signals. They think someone might try to steal their signs. It would be awful if a pitcher knew a base runner was going to steal, or a batter was going to lay down a bunt. Did you ever notice how the catcher often walks to the mound when a runner is on second base? Why? He changes the pitch sequence signals so that the runner on second can’t steal the catcher’s signal. Believe it or not, that runner would let his hitter know what pitch is coming!

Such ill-gotten gain! How scandalous!

Then there is my friend Richard--a man of impeccable integrity. I would trust him with my last penny, and most precious possessions (he looks a little bit like Mitt Romney). But I must tell you that he is possibly the worst sports prognosticator on planet earth, and tomorrow at church I will get the Blah, blah, blah, the Giants are going to win . . . They are the team of destiny . . . It will be the Manning brothers, back-to-back Superbowl Champions. On and on it will go. Keith will jump in and jump on the Giant bandwagon (it has already started). I affectionately call them Pete and Repete.

Richard and Keith are leaving for the Rockies next week (I was supposed to go with them. I am not -- long story. Possibly a conspiracy). Maybe they will have a chance to visit Coor’s field -- that memorable ballpark -- where the Red Sox swept the Rookies.

Richard, the Celtics have the best record in the NBA. Would you like to talk?


  1. I am honored that you would give me headline space on your blog. Check mine out. I remind you that you are now a Southerner - only by the Grace of God. You have been liberated of the icy cold of the Northeast. You are in God's country now and it is about time you gave up your loyalty to all things Boston. I suppose John Kerry & Teddy Kennedy would be proud of your Bostonian loyalty - but c'mon man...let it go. Be proud you are a Southerner - slap a big 'ole AU on the back of your truck and put on a Braves hat for goodness sake. Go Giants!!!!


  2. Liberated from the icy cold, but unwilling to become soft.
    I have to agree--the South is free America.
    John Kerry? If it wasn't for my presence here, and educating the South about Kerry they would have put him in the White House.
    AU? Aren't you in the wrong State?
    Braves? Who are they?
    Giants? It's your fantasy make it as big as you want!
    When will you learn, Grasshopper?

  3. Go Pats!!!! Come on, We Northerners must stick together down here...Boston will always be the best whether we live there or not. Others just have to accept that Boston is the best city in the country :o)

  4. Ang,

    I think there may be some residing bitterness due to that little incident that happened in the late 1800s between the North and South ...know what I mean.

    Don't worry, I know where my roots are!

  5. Nah!!! It is just nice having those close by that know what it is like where you came from. Plus I can never get away from football now...first it was you growing up always talking about it in class and now a husband who is a die-hard fan. What is a girl to do :o)

  6. Yankees go home! What amazes me is y'all are proud of winning the war and yet you are all moving down here by the hundreds of thousands!
    She grew up in the city in a little subdivision,
    Her daddy wore a tie, Momma never fried a chicken,
    Ballet, Straight A’s, Most likely to succeed

    They bought her a car after graduation
    Sent her down South for some higher education
    Put her on the fast track to a law degree

    Now she’s comin home to visit
    holdin the hand
    Of a wild-eyed boy
    with a farmer’s tan

    And shes ridin in the middle of his pickup truck
    Blarin Charlie Daniels yellin, “Turn it up!”
    They raised her up a lady
    but there’s one thing they couldn’t avoid
    Ladies love country boys

    (You know its true)

    Yeah, you know momma’s and daddy’s want better for their daughters
    Hope they’ll settle down with a doctor or a lawyer
    In their uptown, ball gown, hand-me-down royalty

    They never understand
    why their princess falls
    For some camouflage britches
    and a southern boy drawl

    Or why she’s ridin in the middle of a pickup truck
    Blarin Hank Jr. yellin, “Turn it up!”
    They raised her up a lady
    but there’s one thing they couldn’t avoid
    Ladies love country boys

    You can train ‘em
    You can try to teach ‘em right from wrong
    But it’s still gonna turn ‘em on

    When they go ridin in the middle of a pickup truck
    Blarin Lynyrd Skynyrd yellin, “Turn it up!”
    You can raise her up a lady
    but there’s one thing you jus can’t avoid
    Ladies love country boys

    They love us country boys

  7. Richard,

    The reason we come down here is because you so desperately need us.

    However, you remain as stubborn as a country boy's mule. How bad off are you when you resort to heralding Charlie Daniels and Lynard Shynard? I never thought I would have to tell you this but I believe you need to expose yourself to the sophistication of the arts and great centers of intellectualism of the Northeast.

    And Last . . . If the Giants win I have hired an unsavory fellow to kidnap you and dispose of your body.